Today; Sat 22nd January

Well, what an action packed start to the day!

Today...up early....and then off to the nearby big swimming pool. The team are determined to try to get a bit fitter!! The aim was to do 20 lengths of the 25 metre pool each. Bert managed 4 and a half lengths plus 2 attempts to clear the pool length underwater....managed 3/4 which ain't bad for a first attempt!! Mandy, 42 lengths (swims like a barracuda); Gary half a width; Jai...tried to break Ai 's (see Face book under Ai Futaki) new record....and only failed by 99 yards...so, very close.

When she was here, Selena and husband Kevin researched and then tried out some new resturants and discovered some really good ones. After swimming, we all headed off to the nearby Wine Connection Bistro for a superb breakfast costing a whole £3!! Well Done, Selena and Kevin for discovering this gem.

And then back to the house pool for a bit of R and R. Mandy is photographed checking to see if Gary is still alive after his half width exertions. You may suggest your own caption for this photo...prizes will be awarded.

After a bit of time in the pool, Bert noticed some hefty swirls in the lagoon behind the house so our lads were soon alert and into action doing what they do best....fishing. Right now they are out there trying to catch the fish and I've just heard Bert shout out that he's 'dropped it'...so they have had the monster on...which is a start.

I ain't too sure what they think is out there but I know for sure our Thai pool cleaner is more likely to catch it with his special 'suck it in' tackle. Here he is, behind our two heroes, setting up his own special hosepipe rig which I suspect he lays out close to the quarry and then sucks in like buggery....who knows if this will work???

And just a quick photo from last night's 'Meet the Neighbours/Welcome to Phuket' gathering. Gary has announced that he is having nothing to do with Ladyboys this year and refuses to go to the Simon Lady Boy Cabaret show in Patong. Then, shortly after this announcement, Gary emerges from the tropical garden with a headpiece Danny La Rue would be proud of.

You just never know what that wag, Gary, will get up to next!

And now a bit of seriousness...if you have Facebook...look up Ai Futaki. Ai is a young Japanese lady who has been friends with son Tom and me for the past eight years. I first met Ai in Koh Toa when she was learning, along with Tom, to be a PADI diving instructor. They teamed up again to become Free Diving Instructors and the following year (2008), Ai supported Tom in Koh Lanta, to the south of Phuket, when he won an International Freediving event with 3 dives to 50m (yes, 50 metres...no scuba tank!) and breath holding for up to 5 mins 30 secs. Anyhow, Ai is a brilliant lady; extremely driven, highly skilled, very intelligent, fabulous underwater photographer etc etc. I really admire her. She has just entered the Guiness Book of Records (see Facebook etc for what she has achieved) and also set the new Japanese Lady's Free diving record in Mexico. Terrific. Well Done, Ai! I'm very proud of you!

Ai will be coming to stay with us in March for a short break. Quite a few of you have met her and have followed her achievements. Mandy, who is here now, has met Ai and they have been in communication via Facebook. It's really great to know such a gifted young person and I'm delighted that some of you guys staying with us have met her. (See, I CAN be serious sometimes!!)

Kaw tawn rab su Phuket (Welcome to Phuket)

Yesterday Mandy and Gary plus Bert the Brick arrived at Phuket airport. The whole idea of staying at my house in Phuket is that guests are prepared to go adventuring. A car is a must (or be prepared to use taxi's). First stop was the car hire firm opposite the airport where Gary picked up his top of the range Toyota Frontier which will carry 6 people with ease.

Tradition (it's Gary's third visit here now) dictates a proper start to the holiday with fireworks and Kom Loi's (fire lanterns). Here are our illustrious adventurers, complete with Mistress-of Ceremonies, Saranwalai Chansongsri, setting off their 'start of adventures holiday Komn Loi's'.


Gary prepares for lift off.
Jai has used local no good semi ex-Pat Whittall as lantern holder while she prepares ignition.





Bert's approach to Kom Loi lift off is furtive to say the least. Difficult to imagine what his holiday wish will be???











Mandy and Jai get ready for lift off!!

It's gonna be a great holiday.....we all just know it!!

The Chards and Bert hit town!

Gary and Mandy Chard, accompanied by ex-South England Underwater swimming Champion, known professionally as Bert 'the Brick', or to his family as Mr Kevin Manson, plumber, arrived in Bangkok on Thursday. They stayed at the glamorious 5 star hotel Millenium Bangkok Hilton which is on the Chao Praya River running through the centre of the City.

Bangkok's hotels are regarded as the best value in the world by many regular International travellers and indeed boast luxurious interiors, amazing city and river views and superb (really superb!) cuisine. Our friends enjoyed a top quality dinner whilst looking out across the City from the 30th floor of their hotel.

There are plenty of spectacular buildings in Bangkok. A night trip on one of the Chao Praya river boats complete with dinner and a show is a great way to spend an evening. Bangkok may appear a bit daunting but in Thailand...just trust the hotel staff and they will arrange everything with a mini bus arriving to pick you up and take you to your boat and bring you back again. If you try to arrange the tour yourselves, you'll go crazy and probably end up paying more. Thailand knows how to look after tourists.....

Photo below taken looking down from the hotel onto the Night Cruise boats. There are plenty to choose from offering a variety of trips. During the day, the best way to see Bangkok is from the river. You can jump on the local water taxi boats....they are anything up to 100' long... and cruise the river for as little at 17 Baht (40 pence). You can get a little free map which shows you the various 'piers' to get on or off and what sights are available from that pier. If you like to go into the City itself...much better to use Water Taxi's to get you to a pier near the Sky Train system, which is also very cheap, brand new, immaculately clean, safe, punctual...etc etc and far faster than the road taxi service which inevitably grinds to a halt in the never moving traffic jams that Bangkok is infamous for.
Many of the Bangkok hotels boast impressive landscaped grounds for guests to wander around in. Of course, you get what you pay for. You can get a good, clean hotel in the middle of the City on the well known Koa San Road for anything from £7 to £17; or a good 3 star range City Centre hotel for £30. These prices are not per person but per room. For example, the 3 star £30 price is for two people in a massive room with en-suite facilities, sky TV, stocked fridge, coffee making facilities, breakfast, swimming pool etc etc. Very very good value.
If you come to Thailand for your holiday, remember you have easy access to many other nearby countries and parts of Thailand for very little money. For example, Air Asia have return flights from Phuket to Singapore (£45); Chiang Mai, 2nd largest City in Thailand (£50) or even Hong Kong (£120). Cambodia is close by. A trip to the Angkor Wat Temples is a mind blowing experience....and it's just a coach ride away from Bangkok.

There's masses on offer for a holiday you will never forget.

Right now, our visiting Pennys have gone their separate ways. Selena and Kevin have flown to Singapore for a 4 day visit and Colin and Teresa have flown North to Chiang Mai for a week long trip to the North of Thailand including the Golden Triangle (Myanmar, Laos, Thailand) trip. Yesterday they emailed to say they were having an amazing time at the Chiang Mai Aquarium and Zoo.

There's something here for everyone!

Boys will be Girls and Girls will be Boys...it's a mixed up world.

Here here is...Mr Kevin Lowe. Fresh out of UK and ready to take on the complexities of the Ladyboy Culture here in mad Patong, otherwise known as Dirty City. And, accompanying him on this tour of insanity and gender change is our favourite Sailors Return ex-Barmaid...Selena who is now the Manageress of an Upmarket resturant in Bath.

Mr and Mrs Lowe, charming examples of a well behaved British couple, were looking forward to having a whole new experience. Mr Colin Penny is of course used to people not knowing what sex they are because he is a charter skipper.


Here she is...the glamourous Mrs Lowe, alias Selena Penny......I have a feeling the Ladyboys are going to be extremely jealous of Selena's looks.......ha ha.


Kevin and Father-in Law Colin made friends with a charming young number who they called 'Bob'. Bob had magnificent Bobbets....earned from years of gyrating in a sensual manner down at the old Phuket Bingo Hall for the locals.

Bob became extremely attached to our two adventurers and clung to them...not wishing any other Ladyboys getting into their (deep; VERY deep) pockets.

Meanwhile Selena, Teresa and Jai had dressed up in glamourous gear in the hope of raising a few Bahts before hitting the wild nightlife of Phuket.

Look good, don't they?

The evening started off gently enough...Colin had disappeared into this club by now.....but then it was went seriously downhill as our guests insisted on staying out until 0400...dancing and lashing each other with foam whips in the Devils' Cauldron.

That Lowe/Penny family are serious party goers...our next guests have some wild shoes to fill!!!!!

England V Thailand Fishing Comp

England V Thailand

Today was the day of the Big Fishing Competition between England and Thailand. England was represented by UK Charterboats Skipper of the Year, Mr Colin Penny...he of the glamorous hairstyle (see Facebook) and owner of the soon to be launched Flamer IV. Representing Thailand was Ocean Master Saranwalai Chansongsri, other wise known as Jai, and Top Crewperson of infamous Charterboat Offshore Rebel.

The scoring opened within seconds of cast off with Colin hitting straight into a Mekong catfish of about 15lb. Colin was pretty impressed with the fighting qualities of this powerful fish but despite the recent memories of the Mr Caines' Facebook posting was able to guide the fish to the net handled by our Thai guide Khun Om.

Mr Penny was top man in the species category with three different species. Here he is with his carp of about 8lb.

And here's the Thai team. Jai never cheats but seemed to have four rods to Colin's one....funny how gals all over the world interpret the rules somewhat differently.

Jai soon retaliated with her own and bigger catfish. In fact Jai went into a commanding lead of 4 fish to England's 1!!!!

Here she is with another of her five fish total catch. The event took place between 0930 to 1230.

Although under considerable pressure from Thailand, Mr Penny was inspired through the motivational teamtalk from the England Manager (me) who told him to get his f**king finger out and stop combing his hair! Charter Captain of the Year Penny responded with the tournament's largest fish...a cracker (another catfish) weighing about 30lb which took a good 20 minutes to coax to the net.

And then.....just like the fabulous species hunter he is......our erstwhile International clinched the species section with this formidably toothed fruit eating pirhana. Colin tempted his third species on an assortment of currants and banana bait presented in a French style croissant squashed onto a swim feeder above a size 1 hook.

Jai made everyone (all three of us) acknowledge her right to represent her Country by nailing the numbers section. Yeah, well it was actually 5 fish each but the England representative played his Wildcard and used the fish his Manager(me again) caught to boost his own total catch.

A rematch has been demanded by both teams which is due to take place tomorrow afternoon........

All in all, this fishing is just amazing. You'd be VERY unlucky

not to catch a big freshwater fish......even I caught two!!!!

Pennys at The Zoo

The good thing about Phuket zoo for Skipper Colin Penny was finding one of his customers. Amazing how many of our angling lads get out here at this time of the year.


The Happy Family line up for their pre-zoo visit pose. Teresa, Selena and husband Kevin (from Wales!!!) Don't know their mate's name behind them.

Well, we all like different things in life. That's what makes us such a fascinating species for the animals to look at. I have severe problems with such zoos. I want to run around and cut the chains off everything. Seeing a tiger like this doesn't impress me....but then, if it was free it would probably get shot as the Chinese use the bile from the tiger for all sorts of balms and cures....which is why there are so few left in Asia.

Yep, and here's an elephant riding a bike. Mmmmm, not sure I should be writing this particular blog as my totally biased, negative opinion may be coming across.

...but our young guests enjoyed the trip and the pleasure of holding a tiger cub...........


...and feeding the elephants.

And here's some pretty fish.........

There are a couple of excellent nature reserves just to the north of Phuket where small bungalows can be rented amidst the stunning Karst formations, lakes and river. Nature trails take place at the reserve and there the animals roam free. So, if you are a nature and animal lover, there ARE some real treats in store for you here.

Skipper Penny's new command.

Skipper Penny guides us through the unchartered waters of Pang Gna at the north eastern end of Phuket island.

The scenery in this part of Phuket is stunning. This was our first attempt to learn the area using a combination of local instruction and chartwork. Very good fun for skippers Penny and Whittall using a dinky chart plotter and miniscule GPS numbers. Remember when we had to use those crappy old Valsat 2000D GPS units along with a magnifying glass to read the damn numbers????

Fabulous scenery, eh? Now I have a boat to use we can explore the area properly. There are some very attractive looking secluded beaches, reachable only by private boat. This area would take a lifetime to explore as there are many islands, caves and beaches...it's opened up a whole new frontier! Very exciting.

Here's our boat. It's a 24' Cat built in Australia and was designed as a fast rescue boat. With twin 200HP Mariner outboards, it's a 40 knot rocket...but with the price of fuel in Thailand (yep, it's the same old problem the world over...rocketing fuel prices V thirsty engines) we had to hold back on the throttle. We still blew away £140 worth of petrol...so, although I have use of the boat we will have to cover the cost of our trips. But, with 4 to 6 of us onboard, it's not too bad and lots cheaper than hiring a local speedboat and skipper.

This particular area does not look very fishy. There are a few longtail boats around setting nets but I get the feeling the area has been fished out. This is all about scenery and picnics on pristine sandy beaches......